It’s great to do sweet things for your partner, but what about you? 

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield

We have all heard about random acts of kindness. We’ve probably all — at some point or another — been a giver or a receiver of these little, big and sometimes life-changing moments.

The simple act of doing thoughtful, unexpected good deeds for others can fill us with joy. And when someone reaches out, out of the blue to touch us in some way, it’s something we rarely forget.

No matter what end of the act of kindness you are on, they are usually moments filled with ease, grace and love.

Acts of kindness come to us naturally, without effort or much thought. An opportunity presents itself and we act swiftly and whole-heartedly. We don’t think; we just do.

Recently a friend confided to me that she needs more time for herself. She has a demanding schedule and kids she cares for so I understand why it ‘s difficult for her to find time alone. It’s more than that, though. In listening to her, I realized she isn’t being kind and giving herself the simple joys she’s craving.

I thought of how she often extends generosity towards me — a cup of coffee, a listening ear, a meal shared.

I wondered — what if now and then she surprised herself with a random act of kindness — for herself?

What if now and then we all gave ourselves a random act of self-love?

I’m not talking about spoiling ourselves, giving in to our every whim or over-indulging. I’m referring to being honest with ourselves. So often we put our needs and wishes on the backburner and neglect our desires because we’re afraid to authentically acknowledge them.

Giving to ourselves should be a regular part of our lives. While some of us are better at this than others, for many of us, this idea feels absurd. We worry how it may look, what others may think or we feel guilty. We worry we are being selfish or that others will perceive our actions as self-absorbed.

But there’s nothing wrong with giving to ourselves.