Tag: conversation

How to Talk to Your Partner about Sex

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

January is the Month to Have More Open Conversations About Sex, so how do you start that conversation with your partner? Talking is a key to having great sex and improving your love life, but it can be difficult when you’ve never opened up about it before. You need not worry though, these five helpful tips will help both you and your partner get everything you want out of the bedroom and give you a great, sexy start to 2015!

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How Much Sex Happily Married Women Have Vs. Unhappily Married Women

by zfortadminin LOVE

There’s nothing less sexy than putting a number on how many times a month you and your partner should be having sex.

But in the Business Insider video above, psychotherapist and author M. Gary Neuman suggests that carving out time for sex may be the key difference between happily married couples and unhappily married ones.

While working on his “Creating Your Best Marriage” video series, Neuman and his team polled more than 400 women and found that unhappily married women had sex three to four times a month while happily married women had sex 11 times a month.

“Believe it or not, it was not about the satisfaction of the sex, it was about the frequency versus infrequency,” he says of his 2009 research in the clip above.

So what’s Neuman’s best advice for fostering the kind of intimacy that leads to a little action between the sheets? First, you need to emotionally connect with your spouse.

“Sexuality in marriage is connected to the emotional connectedness of the spouses but sometimes that time needs to be planned out,” Neuman told The Huffington Post. “Go out on a weekly date night and talk about anything except the three subjects you always discuss: money, work, and kids. Those conversations aren’t what made you fall in love with each other and they won’t sustain your love either.”

Curated by Amber J.

Original Article

This Kiss Proves Love Has No Boundries

by zfortadminin Watch

Have you ever joked that someone is acting “like a girl”? Or that they “look like a lesbian”? Or avoided making eye contact with someone you think is disabled? A new movement called “Love Has No Labels” explores the snap judgments we make in a beautiful PSA, which they launched Tuesday.

In the video, the audience sees skeletons kissing, hugging, and dancing with each other. The first couple seems totally in love; you assume one of the figures is a guy, because of his height difference, with his girlfriend. But when the couple emerges from behind the X-ray screen, they’re both women, and the crowd nervously laughs at its preconceived notions.

The “Love Has No Labels” website explains that while most Americans agree everyone should be treated in a respectful and fair manner, many of us report sometimes feeling discriminated against and accidentally discriminating ourselves. The “Love Has No Labels” project hopes to reduce unintentional discrimination, or implicit bias, by calling attention to the subconscious judgments we make every day.

“To end bias, we need to become aware of it,” the project states. “And then we need to do everything within our power to stop it. In ourselves, others, and institutions. The world will be a better place for it.”

Curated by Lesley

Original Article

 

10 Lessons About Marriage You Can Learn From Divorce

by Michael Warshauerin RELATIONSHIPS

Unfortunately, I know a thing or two about divorce. My parents divorced when I was in my twenties, and my first marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. Even my closest friends all have parents who are divorced.

So when my marriage ended, I thought that having a successful marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. But as luck would have it, I ended up meeting and marrying a man who is not just an amazing person, but a top-notch husband. My second marriage has been my version of Happily Ever After.

What I’ve learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. In fact, if ever there was an even playing field, it is in this area.

Having a successful marriage is all about the choices we make every minute of every day. Marriages fail when spouses make poor choices as to how they are going to treat each other. It isn’t more complicated than that. So here are some of my insights about marriage (some learned the hard way) and how you can make good choices and have your own happily ever after…

Lesson #1: Remember that it isn’t your job to make your spouse happy. Your job is to help create an environment in which your spouse can be happy. That means get your act together and be a dependable partner. That means don’t create unnecessary stress or conflict in your marriage. That means genuinely love and encourage your spouse. After that, whether or not they are happy is up to them.

Lesson #2: It helps immensely if you and your spouse have a spiritual practice. Your choice of religion doesn’t really matter. Simply following any spiritual teaching that reinforces the importance of love, compassion and forgiveness, will inspire both of you to treat each other far better than you would otherwise.

Lesson #3: If you are married, that fact should be part of your public persona. Wear your wedding ring. Talk about your spouse in glowing terms to your colleagues and friends. Being married should be part of who you are.

Lesson #4: You can always find someone smarter, more attractive or more successful than your spouse. Remember: your spouse can do the same. “Affair proof” your marriage by telling your spouse regularly how highly you think of them. A daily dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Bride and Groom, Kissing at Sunset on a Beautiful Tropical Beach

Lesson #5: Frequent physical intimacy is necessary for a happy marriage. Don’t make it complicated. You don’t need outfits, pornography, role playing, threesomes, spouse swapping, BDSM or anything else. You only need to give your spouse your undivided attention, caring and acceptance. It requires nothing more and nothing less.

Lesson #6: If your daily communications with your spouse are limited to the Costco list and your children’s soccer practice schedules, then you both are going to be looking elsewhere for a romantic charge. Flirt with your spouse, not your co-workers or the Starbucks barista.

Lesson #7: Dating does not end on your wedding day. When you go out with your spouse, act like it is your first date. Put on a great outfit, hold hands and make interesting conversation. Don’t save your best self for others. Give your best self to your spouse.

Lesson #8: If you are married, you have an obligation to take care of your appearance. You are the person who is most closely associated with your spouse, and you shouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. You don’t have to look like Kate Upton or Will Smith. You just have to look your best.

Lesson #9: There is no glory in remaining in a bad marriage. No one is going to give you a gold sticker or saint you. Worse yet, your kids ultimately may not thank you for it. So choose how and with whom you spend your time on this earth wisely.

Lesson #10: People stay in marriages for many reasons. For their children. For money. For convenience. For ambition, political or otherwise. But you will find no greater joy than being married solely for love.

Over the years, I’ve learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of maturity and selflessness that most people don’t possess when they first say, “I do.” However, if you are patient and work hard at it, the rewards of a happy marriage are immeasurable.

Curated By Timothy

Original Article

 

Lubing Up Your Relationship: 5 Steps For Better Communication

by Frankie Symmsin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

We’ve all been there–unexpected friction, dryness, and chafing, preventing us and our significant other from reaching completion. We can try to push through, hoping that mere effort will win the day. We can give up, hoping that the same problem won’t plague us on our next attempt. Or we can take action by applying a restorative balm and rescuing ourselves from discomfort and failure.

While the above could certainly refer to the physical act of lovemaking, it also applies to the less salacious aspects of a relationship as well.  Communication is the non-sexual lubricant that every romantic partnership needs to flourish.

Naturally, not all communication is created equal. Just like sticky drugstore lube is no match for a designer water-based brand, some communication will set your relationship back rather than helping you and your partner to grow and flourish together.

Here are some tips to keep your communication–and your relationship–silky smooth.

Keep Communication Smooth

In our hyper-connected world, sometimes it can be tough to make sure you’re making time for high-quality, in-person communication with your partner. If your communication has dwindled to a few pleasantries over breakfast, an occasional flurry of daytime texts, and a couple of exhausted attempts to chat before bed, it may be time to reconsider your approach. Set aside a special “date night” every week and pledge not to look at your phone—you’ll be surprised how much you still have to talk about! Alternatively, set up a short weekly “check-in” with your partner to make sure you’re communicating about household issues, personal growth and work goals, and see how that impacts the amount of communication you have with each other throughout the day. If time is an issue, look for activities you can do together to maximize your opportunity to chat—exercise, cook a meal, take a class.

young man in leather jacket is whispering something to his lover

Honesty Lubrication

Whether you’re discussing pop culture, division of household duties, or finances, it’s always a good idea to be truthful. This establishes a baseline of trust and accountability between partners, and in addition, eliminates potential sources for conflict before they arise. If you and your other half have different communication styles, acknowledge this openly, and figure out ways you can both feel heard, but still comfortable.

Glide into kindness

When you and your partner first started dating, it’s likely that you both let compliments fly fast and furious. However, it’s easy to forget how good it feels to give and receive compliments once the initial rush of a new relationship has worn off and both partners get caught up in the grind of daily life. A simple “hey, handsome” or comment about an attractive outfit can go a long way to injecting some fun back into the relationship, and praise for a job well-done, whether it’s mopping the floor or closing a deal at work, is always a boost.

Keep Language Smooth

What you may think of as a playful joke may come across to your partner as a thoughtless comment or worse, a harsh criticism. Keep an eye out for unexpected reactions and be proactive in asking whether or not you’ve said something to upset your partner. This is a two way street—if you’re on the receiving end of not-so-nice behavior, make sure your partner knows how you feel so you can work toward interactions that make everyone happy.

Couple beauty sexy lovers talk in bed isolated

Soothing the Rough Edges

All couples experience disagreements, arguments, and fights, but the couples who stay together approach these difficult times as opportunities for growth rather than a death knell for the relationship. If emotions are running high, don’t be afraid to ask for a temporary “cease fire” so everyone can calm down and think more rationally about how to solve the problem.  Find ways to balance negative feedback with positive and enter into any discussion willing to accept constructive criticism as well as dishing it out. If you can’t get on the same page as your partner on an important issue, consider seeking counseling—sometimes a neutral, third party can ease the way to a resolution.

When in doubt, just remind yourself: the couple that talks together stays together!

10 Ways to Get More Intimate With Your Partner

by Michael Warshauerin SEX TIPS

Honesty and communication make up the foundation for a healthy relationship. But, what exactly does it take to achieve these things? According to certified Sexologist Jaiya Hanauer, there are 10 important ways to build intimacy and make a deeper connection with your partner.

1. MAKING EYE CONTACT

The eyes are the doorways to a connected sex life. Although it may feel a little funny at first, making eye contact during sex tells your partner that all your attention is on him. It builds trust, which ultimately leads to a stronger sexual and emotional bond.

2. TOUCHING

Touching each other throughout the day builds longing for each other. Massaging, stroking, and caressing all produces oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical. To build a deeper connection, try touching each other without having sex. Build up the tension for a few days to make your next intimate an explosive encounter.

3. BREATHING

We do it automatically everyday but most of us don’t realize that breathing is a way to heighten pleasure and arousal. When you breathe deeper, you bring more oxygen into the body, which allows you to be aroused at greater heights. Alternating your breath as you breathe into each other’s mouths is an intimate exercise that has been used in ancient traditions as a way to share the soul.

Side view of passionate young couple embracing in bedroom

4. EXPLICIT TALK

The simple act of sending a sweet text message or complimenting your lover can send blood rushing into the genitals. Not only does it build anticipation, but will also keep your partner thinking about you all day.

5. SETTING THE SCENE

Nothing breaks the mood like cell phones blaring and clutter all over your bedroom. Set the scene for intimacy with sensual music, candles, clean sheets and a shift in environment. Don’t limit intimacy to the bedroom only, you can also create a stage for an encore performance in the living room or kitchen. Think of sex as a theatrical piece—you need the right lighting, right mood and sets. Stimulating your creativity as you prepare actually stimulates the sexual drive.

6. DOING SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY

Taking the time out to do things for your lover that shows that you care and respect his feelings is very important. Plan to go to his favorite restaurant, run a simple errand for him or cook him an exquisite meal. Doing something for him out of the blue will surely increase the love he has for you.

7. TRYING SOMETHING NEW

Many couples get into patterns when it comes to sex. To break free of the bedroom doldrums, do something adventurous. Take a class together at a sex boutique, go skydiving or do something else that you have never done in bed before, but have always wanted to try.

Attractive Girls Petting

8. SENSUAL FEATS

Creating a romantic dinner together with specific foods can actually form deeper bonds. Chocolate, for example, contains the chemical Phenethylamine (PEA) which is responsible for the feeling of being in love. Avocados boost both the male and female libido.

9. ROLE PLAYING

Using your imagination always gives a great boost to your sex life. If you consciously take on a fantasy role in the bedroom, the level of intimacy is heightened when you come back to your more traditional roles in the relationship. Try role-playing as an erotic masseuse and client or as a captor and captive.

10. ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE

In today’s world, women are becoming stronger than ever and it takes a lot to let down our guards, especially if we’ve been hurt before. But, letting the walls around you melt and allowing your partner to penetrate you emotionally and physically are some of the best things you can do in a relationship. Share your deepest feelings with him and allow him to get to know all the different facets of your personality.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

9 Wordless Ways Someone Says, “I Love You”

by zfortadminin LOVE

Longing to hear, “I love you” from someone special? Try watching his or her body language instead. Some 60 to 90 percent of the meaning of our communication is delivered nonverbally — and in romantic situations, this jumps to 99 percent, says anthropologist David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.

“When it comes to emotions, our bodies do the talking more than words,” Givens says.

Here are nine surprising (and wordless) ways the body telegraphs, “I love you.”

Love sign #1: Shoulder rolls or shrugs

Who knew the shoulders were one of the more expressive parts of the body? Thanks to their rounded shape, smooth skin, and ability to move — shrugging, lifting, rolling — the shoulders are able to convey emotional nuances remarkably well, Givens says. Rolling a shoulder, in particular, reads as a gesture of affection or flirtatiousness.

Unlike some other large muscles, the upper trapezius has special “gut reactive” visceral nerves that are sensitive to your emotions. (Think about how your shoulders sag in defeat and shake when you cry.) The biceps, as a contrasting example, rely on somatic nerves, which help those muscles do intentional tasks, like lift weights. “The biceps aren’t very emotionally expressive,” Givens notes.

(Ladies, try a sleeveless top on that big date to help your shoulders do the talking.)

Love sign #2: Mirroring your actions

You splay your right fingers around your coffee cup; so does he. You take a sip; he takes a sip. Anthropologists call this synchrony of actions “isopraxism” (iso being Greek for “same” andpraxism meaning “behavior”). Couples tend to do this unconsciously as they fall in love; their bodies can’t help themselves.

Mirroring behaviors are a strong element in the courtship rituals of all animals that use courtship, Givens says. A female mallard hen, for example, swims close to her male target and bobs her heads in the water until he copies her, and they do this back and forth until they mate. The behavior demonstrates that neither is threatening to the other, allowing them to get closer.

“The more alike you are, the more you like each other,” Givens says. “It strengthens your bond.”

Side view of passionate young couple embracing in bedroom

Love sign #3: Locked eyes

If an object of attraction gazes deep into your eyes, your heart just may skip a beat. Eye contact is a potent emotional link — in ordinary circumstances, both parties feel a strong urge to break a gaze after three seconds. (People make less eye contact when they dislike each other, feel intimidated, or disagree.)

But if you like someone, you tend to hold the gaze for an extra few beats without even being aware of it. This says, “I’m really, really interested in you.”

Like most of the nonverbal communications that express love to other adults, the tendency to gaze long and hard at a beloved is rooted in the caring ways that parents treat children, Givens says. Mothers tend to gaze longer at babies than adults because they’re so interested in them and need to be attentive to them; in this way we grow up associating a long gaze with love.

Love sign #4: Sitting close by

Does your loved one move in close to you — maybe your hips touch when you sit side by side, or your knees knock into his or hers when you sit across from each other?

“Reducing the distance between you and the other person is a strong way our bodies send a message of love,” says Jamie Comstock, a professor of communication at Butler University in Indianapolis.

Someone in love almost can’t help the urge to be physically near his or her object of affection. When you’re drawn to someone, it’s almost literal: Often the body knows the attraction before any words of love have been exchanged, Comstock says.

Love sign #5: Head tilts

When you’re talking, watch your listener. Does he or she cock his or her head, either to the left or right? In a friendship, a tilted head fosters rapport. In courtship, it reads as flirtatiousness.

Leaning the head toward the shoulder connotes harmlessness and submissiveness, the Center for Nonverbal Studies’ David Givens says, which makes the relationship “softer.” As with the shoulder muscles, the muscles involved in tilting the head are controlled by visceral nerves, which are equipped to reflect emotion. A tilted head is a gesture that adds warmth and immediacy to the dialogue between you. Subtle? Yes. But like many aspects of body language, these cues speak volumes about the relationship.

Sexy and romantic couple wearing lingerie with the man embracing

Love sign #6: A fingertip caress

Being lightly, casually touched — on your shoulder, your forearm, the back of your neck, a little side hug — instantly registers in the brain as warmth and reassurance.

The emotional centers of the brain register touch more quickly than messages that come through the language center, Givens says. The touch doesn’t have to be long to register as warm and reassuring. (This kind of touch is different from having breasts or genitals touched in a nonsexual situation, which sends a confusing message rather than a simple “I love you.”)

“The presence of touch is a sign of affection because it sends a message of inclusion: I want to be closer to you,” says Butler University’s Jamie Comstock. “You can say, ‘I love you’ 30 times a day, but if you only touch the person minimally — rarely hug, kiss, or show appropriate physical affection — that ‘I love you’ will ring pretty hollow to him or her,” she says.

Best of all, touching is a shared message: “The fingertips are extremely sensitive to touch, so you get a good message right back,” Givens says.

Love sign #7: Rapid eye blinking

Is she batting her eyelashes at you? Does he look especially vulnerable and cute — because he’s blinking? The normal rate of eye blinking in humans is 20 times a minute. Faster blinking indicates emotional stress — such as when the person is attracted.

“We blink faster when excited because eyelid movements reflect bodily arousal levels established by the brain stem’s reticular activating system (RAS),” Givens says. The result: a chain reaction. Emotions from the limbic system stimulate the RAS to act on the brain to release the chemical dopamine in a part of the midbrain connected to the eyes.

A warning about reading the right message into this signal, though: A faster blink rate is also triggered when the speaker is lying.

Love sign #8: A warm smile

Smiles warm our hearts — but not any old smile is a sign of affection. What to look for: a genuine smile (called a “zygomatic smile”), the kind that can’t easily be faked because it’s produced not on demand but by pure emotion. In heartfelt smiles, the zygomaticus muscles are strongly contracted, so that corners of the mouth curve upward and the outer corners of the eyes wrinkle into crow’s feet. Pay attention to the eyes: In a genuine smile, they tend to be crinkled more tightly.

The face is more expressive than any other part of the body because all facial muscles are controlled by visceral nerves, which are connected to emotions. Some people say they can see their dog or cat smile, but these animals have little facial flexibility compared with our evolutionary kin the primates, who developed this ability in order to communicate. Reptiles, in comparison, can’t move their features at all, save to open their mouths.

Love sign #9: A higher-pitched and softer voice than usual

Notice how a parent talks to a child: The voice takes on a slightly higher, warmer tone — not loud, no edge to it. This same love-infused relationship is the model for the tone that people in love use. It’s a softer pitch than usual. “It’s innately friendly,” Given says, “and suggests a nonaggressive, nonhostile pose.”

That doesn’t mean that if your crush isn’t speaking to you in baby talk or falsetto, he or she doesn’t love you. The tone of a voice in love isn’t that exaggerated. It’s simply more loving.

The tone of voice is so important — and so revealing — because we “hear” the way words are delivered separately from how we process the words themselves. Tone of voice carries both emotion (love, hate, anger) and social information (sarcasm, superiority).

In fact, humans are so good at reading voices that you should probably trust what you hear in the tone more than the words themselves — especially when that “I love you” rolls off the tongue of the object of your affection. Comstock says, “When there’s a discrepancy between the words and the tone” — whether it’s detached, monotonal, defensive, sarcastic — “people believe the nonverbal.”

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

10 Reasons Why You’ll Fall For The Funny Guy Every Time

by Tatiana EL-Khouriin DATING ADVICE

Why is it when girls are asked what qualities they look for in a guy, most say a sense of humor?

There’s just something about a guy who makes you giggle like a little schoolgirl, and there’s a reason Seth Rogen never fails to steal our hearts in every movie.

Funny guys have a charm and electricity about them that is hard to deny. Below are the real reasons why the silly man will always have you hooked:

1. He never fails to entertain you.

Dating a guy with a good sense of humor never gets boring. He is spontaneous and will pull almost any stunt for a laugh. It makes things exciting because you have to be quick to keep up with him.

2. To be funny, a guy must be witty and creative: plus and plus!

If you ask any writer what the most difficult genre to write for is, he or she will most likely say comedy. Sure, anyone can tell a good ol’ fashion fart joke, but it takes a certain type of a genius to nail a punchline that will make you laugh until your belly hurts.

To be on his game, he must be quick on his feet and original. If your guy is truly funny, he probably has a vast knowledge of peculiar facts and an arsenal of voices to share them in.

3. He knows how to handle social situations.

Nothing eases up an awkward moment better than a good-hearted joke. He has made enough inappropriate wisecracks to know when the time is right to tease and when it is better to keep his mouth shut.

You no longer have to cringe about leaving your guy in a room alone with others. Part of being funny is knowing where everyone else is coming from. Building off others, he can find something in common that they can all chat or even chuckle about.

4. He is naturally very observant.

How is he going to poke fun at your “Hunger Games” poster unless he’s taken a moment to observe your room?

The reason comedians are so good at what they do is attributed to their keen sense of what’s going on around them and ability to find the absurdness in it. A good way to one-up his witty remarks is to thank him for noticing.

5. He makes you a better person.

You stressed out too much before he entered the picture; now he teaches you to laugh at life and yourself.

Your safety wall melts away when he is around, and when he makes a fool out of himself, you feel more comfortable to do the same. What is a sweeter love when you can both truly be yourself around each other?

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The 12 Biggest Moments From Bruce Jenner: The Interview

by zfortadminin LOVE

Bruce Jenner sat down for a far-ranging two-hour interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer. Here are the 12 biggest moments from that interview:

1. Bruce Jenner: ‘I’m a Woman’

“For all intents and purposes, I’m a woman,” Jenner said. “People look at me differently. They see you as this macho male, but my heart and my soul and everything that I do in life — it is part of me.”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: ‘I’m a Woman’

2. Bruce Jenner Say This is Not a Publicity Stunt

“We’re going to make a difference in the world with what we’re doing, and if the whole Kardashian show gave me a foothold into that world, to be able to go out there and do something good, I got not problem with that,” Jenner said.

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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: This Is Not a Publicity Stunt

3. Bruce Jenner Remembers First Time He Wore a Dress

“I marked the closet so when I put it back I could put it all back, everything back in the exact same spot so I wouldn’t get caught,” Jenner said. “And, at the time, I didn’t know why I was doing it besides it just made me feel good.”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: First Time He Wore a Dress

4. Who Was the First Person Jenner Told?

“I said ‘these are my issues. This is what I deal with.’ And they think I do a little cross dressing, I do a little of this, a little of that, you know, ‘it’s going to be fine, we’ll work all this stuff out,’” Jenner said.
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Who Was the First Person Bruce Told?

5. Bruce Jenner: ‘I’m Not Gay’

“No, I’m not gay. I am not gay, I am, as far as I know, heterosexual,” Jenner said.
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: I’m Not Gay

6. Bruce Jenner Took Female Hormones in the 1980s

“I did it almost five years,” Jenner said.
Premiere of "Fire & Ice"

Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Jenner Took Female Hormones in the 1980s

7. Bruce Jenner: ‘I Had The Story’

“I had the story,” he continued. “We had done 425 episodes I think, over almost eight years, and the entire run I kept thinking to myself, ‘oh my god, this whole thing.’ The one real true story in the family was the one I was hiding and nobody knew about it.”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: ‘I Had the Story’

8. Bruce Jenner Was Terrified To Tell His Kids

“Those are the ones I’m concerned with and the only ones I don’t—I can’t allow, I can’t let myself hurt them,” Jenner said.
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Terrified to Tell His Kids

9. Brandon Jenner ‘More Proud Than Ever’ of His Father

“I saw a sense of bravery that is, for all your previous accomplishments, I think far exceeds all of them,” Brandon Jenner told his father during an exclusive interview with Diane Sawyer. “I’m just honored and more proud than ever to be a part of the family.”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Brandon Jenner ‘More Proud Than Ever’ of His Father

10. Bruce Jenner: Kim Kardashian ‘Caught Me One Time’ in a Dress

“Kim caught me one time, walked in,” Bruce Jenner said. “She kind of walked out and jumped in the car and went for a ride, and I tried to call her and said, ‘hey, are you OK?’ … it was like this big secret in the family and we never talked about it again.”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Kim Kardashian ‘Caught Me One Time’ in a Dress

11. Bruce Jenner on Kanye West’s Reaction

“Kim told me a story,” Jenner said. “She goes, ‘you know what really turned me around on thinking about this?’ I said, ‘what?’ She goes, ‘Kanye.’ I went, ‘oh, OK.’ … they were talking about it, and he says to Kim, ‘Look, I can be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and I am. I can have the most beautiful little daughter in the world, I have that. But I’m nothing if I can’t be me.’”
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Kanye West’s Reaction

12. Bruce Jenner’s Plan for Becoming ‘Her’

Jenner talks about what’s next for him in his process.
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Bruce Jenner Interview With Diane Sawyer: Plan for Becoming Her

Curated by Tatiana
Original Article

The Perils of Sexy Talk

by Julia Solomonin DATING ADVICE

by Julia Solomon

I love sexy talk. Only during sex, otherwise it’s rude. It’s not even so much that I like it, but that I prefer it to the sound of silence while bodies slap together and bed coils squeak. It helps me concentrate. It doesn’t get me hot and bothered, it just allows me to get a little bit out of my head (which is the worst place to be when you’re trying to relax and let an orgasm happen). It’s totally understandable why some people are a little hesitant to try kinky talking. It’s so easy to feel embarrassed because you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Sex is already a very intimate activity, but adding conversation to it, you’re raising the stakes. Both parties could already be concerned about whether or not they’re doing the right “moves”, and now you might worry about whether or not you’re saying the right things. I think the key is confidence and commitment. It’s important to say things confidently. It kind of reminds me of being in class in high school (don’t worry, it’s not going there) and you hesitantly answer a question that the teacher has asked you. You’re not sure you’re right, so your pitch gets higher towards the end of the sentence. The teacher always says the same thing, “Are you asking me or are you telling me?” Then you feel dumb, because they’re kind of calling your bluff. You’re afraid to say the wrong answer. Here’s a fun example:

Teacher: Who is Justin Timberlake’s wife?

Student: Jessica Biel?

Teacher: Are you asking me or are you telling me?

Student: Jessica Biel. His wife is Jessica Biel. I have no fear. I am woman, hear me roar.

I’m not really sure what class this conversation would take place in, but I hope you get the gist by now. Just commit, and say it confidently, you have nothing to fear. You’re both in this together, you stepping up will make the other person feel more comfortable, which is important, because now the person has nothing to worry about. You went for it, now they can reciprocate. I’ve had mostly pleasant experiences while using sexy talk in the bedroom, but when you don’t know someone really well, things can get weird. You don’t know each others’ boundaries and you could end up saying something the other person is not comfortable with. Or, something they’re just not used to, which can make for an…interesting experience, to say the least.

There have been some instances in my life where certain things were said in the bedroom that not only put me back into my head entirely, but also, made it very hard for me to contain my laughter. When I first moved to New York City, I was very anxious to get laid. So, when a guy invited me back to his place late at night, I went with it. He wasn’t a complete stranger, but I didn’t know him very well, either. I wanted to have fun. I didn’t particularly like this guy so I wasn’t interested in feigning any sort of romance. I just wanted to have sex, and hopefully have an orgasm while doing so. That did not happen, mainly because of some pretty silly things he said to me. If you use any of these terms during sex, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I’m going to share a couple of them with you. Please note, I was not offended nor did I feel violated by anything he said that night — the end result was mostly confusion, laughter, and a general questioning of what I was doing with my life.

While we were having sex, I encouraged the kinky talk at first, which is probably why he felt comfortable asking “Yeah, are you my little sex slave?” Fortunately, I was not facing him at the time when he said this, because I started smiling and holding back laughter immediately (thank you, doggy style). Wait, did he seriously just say that? This is hilarious. I can’t take this seriously. That was all I could think. Then started the imagery. The term “sex slave” brings to mind women tied up in chains, in Egypt or something, where the only thing they’re allowed to do is have sex with the Pharaoh or feed him grapes. But, I’ll try anything once — I went with it, and felt like an idiot. This was just so out of my ball park, I couldn’t handle it. I was used to stuff along the lines of “oh yeah, does that feel good?” or.. you know what, one example is enough. The point is, it was pretty tame compared to what this man preferred.

The first thing that weirded me out wasn’t necessarily an unusual request. He kept asking me to say his name. But, it was a weird name. By weird, I mean, the least sexy name in the world. I won’t reveal it, so I’m going to use the name Harold. Imagine saying “Oh yeah, give it to me, Harold! Harder, YES! YES, HAROLD!” It sounds awful. Also, we were in a 4-bedroom loft. Were his roommates used to stuff like this? When they hear women screaming for Harold, do they just think, “Oh, Harry! That dirty old dog!” or are they more like “I can’t wait to get a one bedroom apartment.” Why do guys want you to yell their name? Maybe it’s a watching-too-much-porn thing, maybe it makes them feel powerful. My theory? Perhaps a little bit of narcissism, like they want to know they’re the best or they need to be reassured that “Yeah, this girl wants it, and not just in general, specifically from me!”

He told me I was more than welcome to stay the night, and I politely declined. I instead opted to take a cab from Brooklyn to Harlem, which is not cheap. As expensive as it was, it was completely worth it. I got into the cab and laughed all the way back to Harlem until I had to pay the fare. This guy was super nice and sweet outside of the bedroom, so what was the deal? You can never really assume what someone is like in the sack. As the saying goes, “Never judge a sexual partner based on their behavior in public and/or in front of others.” Yes, it was a weird experience, but it would have been a lot weirder had he not been confidently saying those things. I can’t think of anything funnier than a guy hesitantly asking me to be his sex slave. Go big, or go home. He went big, I went home.

I Want to Masturbate in a Circle of Women

by Jess Beaulieuin LOVE1 Comment on I Want to Masturbate in a Circle of Women

I adore the ritual of masturbating. I live for every single sultry part of it. I get ecstatic when I feel the first tingle of arousal in my underpants, which typically appears while I’m watching a smooching scene in a movie and/or thinking about a man I’m crushing on hard and/or literally out of nowhere for no reason while I am at work in the middle of an important meeting. Do conversations about fiscal periods turn me on? Only my libido knows.

One of my most beloved thoughts to get lost in is the thought of beautiful vibrators, and in particular my beautiful vibrators. Yes, I have plural and I am proud of it. I love stimulants that aid my hormones in achieving their goal. I revel in finding sexy videos on the internet that excites my clit without offending my brain (trickier than it sounds) and/or digging deep in my imagination for the face/sweat/penis/butt/knees/hip bones of a dude I’m into and/or staring into a mirror and satisfying my hot self to my hot self.

And then of course I am a fan of the actual act. Searching for the right buttons. Figuring out what I want that day, that hour, that minute. Building the orgasm within me. Climaxing and feeling my whole body uncontrollably contract and twitch and release. It’s a transcendent experience that I attempt to repeat as often as I can, specifically in the mornings, and in the afternoons, and in the evenings… okay, I do it a lot and have since I was 13-years-old.

Something I haven’t ever done in the masturbation department though is get my own bod off while surrounded by important ladies doing the same to their bods. I hear dudes talking about circle jerks constantly but it’s rare for women to share tales of collective genital bliss. And why is that, I ask you? I mean, females often gather in groups to chat about life and drink wine and make plans to dominate the world. I wonder then how my ladies nights have never morphed into an epic, gorgeous, highly empowering jilling off session. Is there something I’m doing wrong? Do I need to provide MORE chips and dip? Is chocolate the answer? Should I start offering oysters and dildos with dinner? What is the SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM?

women-fire-circle3

I suppose it’s not really a problem but I honestly believe that if a group of ten women, all orgasmic simultaneously in a circle as if we were a coven of pleasure seekers it could better society. We could eliminate the wage gap with one unified moan. Our voices would ripple through the globe like a tidal wave of squirting. The 4th wave of feminism would rise and if it’s that time of the month the wave would be crimson! The energy we would release would be magnetic and contagious and legislation changing. Abortion access would suddenly exist for all! Maternity leave wouldn’t affect career growth! Slut shaming would be a thing of the past! Hillary Clinton would instantly be elected president and all men would make her a sandwich!

…. okay, I might be exaggerating a tad bit here. But, you cannot deny that the image of a dozen vibrators doing god’s (Gloria Steinem’s) work is rather powerful and hella inspiring and majorly instagram-worthy. I have become much more sex positive over the last two years and with that has come a growth in confidence, a decrease in body shame, and an understanding of how to expertly “walk my poodle” (yes, I refer to my vagina as my poodle). So why not take this sex positive attitude a step further? I say, let’s get real positive and bask in the glow that is women’s recently orgasmic faces. I’m interested in experimentation and my favorite hobby is being in and/or around crowds of labia lips. So why not combine the two?!

Plus, it would be so relaxing and non-threatening and FUN! We could do yoga afterwards and get brunch and check out a dog park. I would have to 100% make a day of it. if I’m going to gather my best friends together so we can all masturbate as a unit you better believe we’re going vintage shopping post-climax and eating gelato. We’ll be in top notch moods and totally at ease and ready to get real about our emotions in regards to women being censored on Facebook (which is one of my number one topics to get real about).

Also, we can give each other tips! If a lady is having a hard time locating that spot, another lady can saunter over and give her a helping finger. This could dip into a mutual masturbation zone and if it did I would be beyond thrilled. It’s killing two birds with one ejaculation! Or if one woman’s vibrator isn’t doing the trick, she could switch with another woman who wants to try something new. Like a game of musical chairs! And you know how sometimes it’s difficult to see what’s going on down there? When you’re attempting to pleasure yourself and it begins to feel like parallel parking? Sometimes you just need someone to say “an inch to the right, one centimeter up, and turn it at a 180 degree angle” in order to pinpoint that clit and that’s OKAY!

And another thing, I went to a nudist retreat once and what I loved most about it was seeing how unique each woman’s body is, specifically their crotch areas! It was a breathtaking sight that I would definitely like to repeat. Although I am straight, I have an obsession with the female anatomy and, like the process of masturbation every single part of it fascinates me, especially the sexy parts. If I could orgasm while several other vulvas are in my periphery, I could die happy. I want nothing more than to be satisfied as I hear other women being satisfied, metaphorically and non-metaphorically. That would be my ultimate wet dream.

3 Ways to Prevent a Sex-Starved Marriage

by zfortadminin Watch

Is the key to your sexual success in your marriage center around communication? Do you and your spouse actively act out your needs and desires? We take a look at underlying issues that can help you communicate your wildest desires to get the passionate sex life you and your partner crave.

 

Do (or did) you and your spouse have significantly different levels of desire for sex? If so, you are not alone. Did you know that 1 in 3 couples has a sexual desire gap? But just because you aren’t alone, it doesn’t mean you should be complacent about a ho-hum sexual relationship. You shouldn’t. It can lead to a miserably angry spouse, infidelity and divorce. If you don’t believe me, watch this TEDx talk on The Sex-Starved Marriage

And although solutions to this sexual divide abound in magazines, self-help books and other pop psychology outlets, there is a little talked about fact underlying the problems associated with this sexual void.

The No’s have veto power.

Here’s the scoop. The spouse with lower sexual drive controls the frequency of sex — if she or he doesn’t want it, it generally doesn’t happen. This is not due to maliciousness or a desire for power and control, it’s just seems unimaginable to be sexual if one is not in the mood.

Furthermore, there is an unspoken and often unconscious expectation that the higher desire spouse must accept the no-sex verdict, not complain about it and remain monogamous. After decades of working with couples, I can attest that this is an unfair and unworkable arrangement.

This is not to say that infidelity is a viable solution to disparate sexual interests. It isn’t. As with all relationship conflicts, being willing to find middle ground is the best way to insure love’s longevity.

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The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

by zfortadminin Watch

In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.

Curated by Erbe
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