Your LOVE LIFE —20 Ways to Make it Better

Start improving your love life now with these 20 romantic resolutions and love tips.


Romantic resolutions

Ways to improve your love life

Romantic resolutionsCommit to date night.

Set a date night once a month. It doesn’t have to be expensive — just some special time with your partner.

Romantic resolutionsWrite him a love note.

Love notes and cards aren’t just for Valentine’s Day. Give him a “just because” love note. It can be sweet and romantic, or sexy and racy. Leave it taped on the bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator so he’ll find it in the morning.

Romantic resolutionsLearn something new for the bedroom.

Is your sex life a little stale? Read a book on Kama Sutra or learn a special sexual technique to try out with your partner. If you are looking for a new position, check out SexInfo101.com’s Sex Position Guide with over 100 3D animated sex positions.

Romantic resolutionsTake up a new hobby together.

Enroll in a cooking course, take a dancing class, learn how to ski — whatever you do, do it together. Taking up a new hobby can get you excited about life and your partner.

Romantic resolutionsMake a scrapbook.

If you forget what even brought you together some days, it’s time to make a scrapbook or photo album and reminisce about your time as a couple. Online albums are great, but nothing beats a good old-fashioned scrapbook. Work on the project together, using photos, ticket stubs, your wedding program and anything else you have that reminds you of special events in your life.

Romantic resolutionsTell him what turns you on.

Instead of being bored in the bedroom, tell him what turns you on. If you want to be satisfied when it comes to sex, you can’t be shy. Let him know what you like (and don’t like), and encourage him to do the same.

Romantic resolutionsGet away for the weekend.

You don’t need a holiday as an excuse for a weekend together. Rent a cabin in the mountains or a room at a spa resort. Even if you don’t go out of town, the change of scenery at a hotel or bed-and-breakfast can give your relationship a romantic boost.

Romantic resolutionsSchedule sex.

Work, kids and other obligations can leave very little time for sex. So, put it on your calendar. On the first of the month, schedule sex appointments with your husband for the entire month. Do your best to keep every appointment.

Romantic resolutionsStay fit & healthy.

What would a resolution list be without mentioning health and fitness? Instead of committing to losing X number of pounds, commit to staying fit and healthy. If you haven’t had a checkup lately, schedule it today. Work out and shop for healthy foods together. Being fit and healthy will make you feel better about yourself — and improve your sex life.

Romantic resolutionsPlan your future.

Instead of drifting through life, sit down with your partner and plan your future. What goals do you want to achieve? Whether you are planning to buy a house, purchase a new car or save for a dream vacation, make a budget and game plan, then stick to it together.

Start improving your love life now with these 20 romantic resolutions and love tips.

Romantic resolutions

Romantic resolutionsTake your TV out of the bedroom.

Spending time in front of the TV keeps your attention off each other. Remove the television from your bedroom to open up free time to reconnect with your spouse without the distraction of Fox News, ESPN or Family Guy.

Romantic resolutionsDo something nice.

Sounds simple enough, right? Small things really matter. Wash his car for him. Pack him a lunch. Bake his favorite dessert. Do something nice for your partner to show your love.

Romantic resolutionsStop being jealous.

Be secure enough in your relationship to know he’s not stepping out on you. Let him have time with the boys without feeling jealous or suspicious. You might find that the less jealous you act, the more time he’ll want to spend at home with you.

Romantic resolutionsLearn more about your husband.

Even if you have been married for decades, you can still learn more about your partner. Check out the book All About Me for couples. It’s filled with thought-provoking questions to capture your relationship in a meaningful yet fun way.

Romantic resolutionsEngage in PDA.

You don’t need to make out in public, but you should certainly show your love. Hold hands, hug, kiss and compliment each other. These little public displays of affection show your spouse that you are proud and happy to be together.

Ways to improve your love life: Single girl

The rest of these resolutions are for those who are single and looking for a healthy, loving relationship.

Romantic resolutionsHave more dinner parties.

Dinner parties are a fantastic way to meet new people. Make it singles only. And for every person you invite, have her bring a single person you don’t know.

Romantic resolutionsRefuse to deal with flakes.

If you meet someone new who doesn’t stack up, break it off. Love yourself enough to reject flakes and jerks.

Romantic resolutionsGet out more.

You can’t meet anyone if you never leave your apartment. This year, commit to getting out more and expanding your horizons. Do volunteer work. Take a class. Go on a singles cruise. Put yourself in the position to meet plenty of new people.

Romantic resolutionsBreak bad habits.

Do you smoke? Stop today. Tend to interrupt people? Become a better listener. Do a self assessment and break bad habits that are unhealthy or annoying.

Romantic resolutionsBe determined to make this the best year of your life.

No matter if you are single or have been married for 20 years, set out to make 2011 your best year yet. Wake up each morning with a fresh attitude. Try to learn something new every day. And treat people (and yourself) with the love and respect they deserve.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

What Does Your Credit Score Say About Your LOVE Life?

Over at the U.S. central bank, the jury’s still out on whether inflation’s set to trend back toward policymakers’ 2 percent target.


But a new working paper published at the Federal Reserve Board draws some conclusions that might help prevent your heart from deflating.

Let’s just say you’ll never look at “credit unions” the same way again.

Economists Jane Dokko, Geng Li, and Jessica Hayes presented their findings about the role that credit scores have in predicting the stability and potential longevity of a relationship that’s starting to get serious.

The trio scoured quarterly data from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York’s Consumer Credit Panel, based on information provided by Equifax that includes a “risk score” similar to the more commonly known FICO measure of an individual’s probability of failing to meet their credit obligations in the not-too-distant future. Because personal identifiers are stripped from the data by Equifax prior to delivery, the researchers are agnostic as to whether the couples they identify are married or merely cohabiting.

“In light of the growing prominence of credit scores in households’ economic and financial opportunities, we are interested in their role in household formation and dissolution,” they write, noting that their analysis centers on the initial match in credit scores and quality at the time a committed relationship begins.

The start of a committed relationship is marked by the quarter in which two individuals who did not share an address begin to do so, and, for the purposes of this study, requires that they live together for a minimum of one year. Other filters are applied to the data in an attempt to minimize false positives.

Here’s a summary of their findings:

People with higher credit scores are more likely to be in a committed relationship and stay together
People tend to form relationships with others who have a similar credit score as them
The strength of the match, both in the headline credit score and its details, is predictive of whether or not a couple is more likely to break up for observable reasons pertaining to finance and household spending; and
Credit scores are indicative of trustworthiness in general, and couples with a mismatch in credit scores are more likely to see their relationships end for reasons not directly related to their use of credit.
Those are some pretty bold conclusions to draw. But the proof, the economists say, is in the numbers — and, although correlation doesn’t equal causation, in some instances their results also have both practical and intuitive underpinnings.

Controlling for other factors, individuals whose credit scores are one standard deviation above the mean are 14 percent more likely to enter into a committed relationship over the next year than average, according to the economists. In other words, if you’ve had trouble meeting your financial obligations, your wherewithal to stay current with someone else’s life is also probably suspect.

The results indicate that these partnerships are more likely to endure.

“Among the relationships that survive the first two years, a one standard deviation increase in the initial average credit score implies a 37 percent lower chance of separation during the third and the fourth years of the relationship,” wrote the economists.

Major imbalances between people in committed relationships — when one person is considerably more physically appealing than the other or earns significantly more — tend to be a potential source of conflict that bubbles not too far below the surface. And a wide gap in credit scores between people in a committed relationship is just another manifestation of such a powder keg.

“[T]he initial score differentials are strongly predictive of the stability of the relationship,” reads the report. “The odds ratios show that, for example, a one standard deviation increase of initial score differential (66 score points) implies a 24 percent higher likelihood of separation during the second year and during the third or fourth year, and 12 percent higher during the fifth or the sixth year.”

Moreover, the similarities between individuals when it comes to the components that go into generating a credit score (negative events, usage of lines of credit, length of credit history) also have “a statistically and economically significant bearing with the likelihood of separation in the third or fourth year,” the researchers wrote.

Credit scores, the economists reason, have a real impact on how financially intertwined two individuals will become.

Couples that have similar credit histories are more likely to take on joint ownership of a mortgage, the researchers discovered. Taking on this burden together could therefore be perceived as a pair of financial handcuffs, or something that raises the transaction cost in the event of a breakup.

On the other hand, a chasm between credit scores suggests that a couple’s access to financing, or good terms on those funds, could be impeded and blamed upon one individual. That’s a recipe for tension.

The probability of an adverse credit event is also something that increases as the credit score differential between partners widens. According to the report, “a one standard deviation increase of the initial credit score differential is associated with a 19 percent higher chance of filing for bankruptcy during the first two years of the relationship, while the odds are 10 and 15 percent higher for foreclosures and having more of derogatory records, respectively.”

The findings on the strength of partnerships with similar credit scores also speaks to the phenomenon known as assortative matching; the notion that, in relationships, “opposites attract” does not always apply.

This is true in the animal kingdom, often for practical purposes: Individuals within a species and of a similar size find the copulating process easier. For homo sapiens, this can also hold for nonphysical attributes, like religious affiliation, level of education, or, apparently, credit scores.

In a sense, this revelation also serves to amplify the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. The star-crossed lovers came from “two households alike in dignity” — and, presumably, creditworthiness, making their compatibility self-evident. Default, to adapt a line from another of the Bard’s plays, was not in their stars.

But there is also a residual correlation between credit score differentials and conscious uncouplings — that is, the two tend to trend together for factors beyond the aforementioned observable financial channels.

This leads the economists to hypothesize that there is something about credit scores that is indicative of an individual’s “underlying trustworthiness,” and that such a trait is essential for a healthy relationship.

By introducing a pair of equations to this effect, they manage to strip out any remaining vestige of romance from human relationships:

We begin with setting forth the following stylized, conceptual framework

Pr(default) = f(trustworthiness) + η,

and

credit score = g(Pr(default)) + µ

In sum, the equations contend that an individual’s “underlying trustworthiness” — however subjective that term may be — is positively correlated with his or her credit score.

The researchers note that credit reporting agencies and lenders used to collect color on a person’s reliability and moral character, and these survey-based assessments of trustworthiness and credit scores also tend to have a large amount of overlap.

As such, the economists find support for the notion that “credit scores matter for committed relationships because they reveal information about general trustworthiness.”

So the next time your significant other asks, “What’s your number?” you might want to make sure you’re on the same wavelength before answering.


Curated by Timothy
Source: bloomberg.com

If Your Dad Wanted to Pay a Man to Marry You…

What would you do?


Fathers can be so embarrassing right? How they’re always making hokey dad jokes to the waitresses at dinner, dancing like idiots at weddings, and making public offers to pay a guy millions of dollars to marry you. Uh, come again?

Dads, am I right?

Going way beyond the usual “Oh Dad” groaner, a property developer in Hong Kong with way too much money on his hands has offered the equivalent of $64 million to any man who will marry his daughter, Gigi Chao. And I thought the time my grandma offered my boyfriend a diamond ring to give me was bad! Sheesh.

To be fair, Cecil Chao Sze-tsung did say that his only requirement for potential suitors is that he “loves my daughter, and she loves him,” so maybe his heart is sort of in the right place?

Or maybe not exactly. Adding to the drama, there are reports that the marriage offer is timed to a significant development in Chao’s life. Last week, she may have eloped via civil ceremony in France with her longtime female companion, Sean Eav (a union which would not be recognized in Hong Kong). Ouch. Chao has tactfully declined to talk about her personal life, saying “I’m not afraid to admit anything. But I do want to respect my parents.” She says his proposal to the men of the world is “quite entertaining.”

Well, she sounds like a classy lady who deserves love from any man or woman she chooses, without a multi-million dollar incentive. I’ll choose to follow her dignified path and refrain from any comments except to say how thankful I am for my own dad for never trying to interfere in my love life.

Do you find this dad’s move to marry off his daughter to a man totally horrifying? Or is he just looking out for her happiness? Has your dad ever done anything to interfere in your love life?


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

I’m Single and I Officiate Weddings

I have discovered my Perfect Man does this…


To get something out of the way right off the bat, I see it. I see the cliché dripping from my every word, so pointing it out is unnecessary. I see the cliché in recognizing one’s own cliché. I am 33, I am single, I live alone. I do not have a cat, but only because I’m allergic to cats. I schedule my masturbation. I leave toothpaste clumps on the sink. I leave flossers in the bed that poke me when I roll over. I cry at everything. I exercise religiously for two weeks, then give it up entirely for three. I eat in my bed. I think about dying alone. Like, really think about it. Not just conceptually, but actually dying alone. If I hit my head or have an aneurism, who cleans up the mess I leave behind? I didn’t used to believe in marriage, but now I believe it to be the most amazing thing a person can do. You are signing a contract that says, “You have to deal with this mess when I die.” I can’t imagine that.

I eat alone, I shop alone, I travel alone. In the rare instance where I find myself travelling with someone else, I panic. I feel the need to divulge all of my flying quirks in one hurried breath in the security line because I want my companion to have an out should they want one: I have to be chewing gum as the plane takes off. I have to have the window seat, even though I am 100 feet tall. I have to have a book, which I will not read. What I will do is mildly overdose on Dramamine and sleep fitfully for four hours. I will not wake up in a good mood or in my right mind when we reach our destination. And I have to, HAVE TO have a Hershey bar when I fly, which I will not eat. My mother always had one and I’m pretty convinced that they make the plane stay up. If you fly without a Hershey bar and your plane has never crashed it’s because someone else on board has always had one. Think about that.

The men in my life are bountiful. They are kind. They are handsome and flawed and they smell like laundry and they are passionate and wise. They are comedians and actors and teachers and entrepreneurs. They are fathers and brothers and uncles and they hold coats and know my drink order. They build things and write things and are feminists and warm huggers. These of course, are my friends. My boyfriends, my sex partners, my endless causes of scrunched up eyebrows have been many of the aforementioned as well. Just not for me. Or they possessed those qualities exactly and my head was turned elsewhere. Or some outside distraction had their attention, like an ex-fiancée or a new job or a drinking problem.

Declutter Your Love Life for Spring

Your bedroom may be free of clutter, but what about your heart?


Spring Cleaning isn’t just for belongings; it’s for improving the quality of your life. This is the perfect time of year to discard what no longer serves us – and yes, this includes relationships. We all have our own unique energy drains, emotional rough spots and cluttered habits that could use a little ‘clean-up’ from time to time. If you’re hoarding a mess (even too much of a good thing), it’s time to make room for what you really want.

Spring Cleaning your love life works in three steps: (1) Defining the things that drain your energy. (2) Recognizing why they don’t serve you. (3) Taking out the trash.

Here are six areas to consider:

1. Your Time:

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives,” according to Annie Dillard. What are you doing that just isn’t working? Are you too busy for love?

If you don’t make time to build new relationships now, you’ll never have time to maintain them in the future. So how many unnecessary dating apps are you using? Do you spend hours each day on social media, instead of making quality time with your partner or date(s)? Does your work, hobby or social routine make it hard to commit to relationships? If time is money, budgeting is important. Cancel ‘investments’ that don’t bring results.

2. Your Self:

Low self-esteem, lack of a personal care routine, and poor mental/physical health are all serious buzz-kills in the love and sex department. If you feel insecure or unhealthy, here’s your chance to commit to solutions. Define and delete the beliefs that drag you down.

Everyone is a work in progress; if you can’t accept that about yourself, you’ll most likely struggle to accept it in your partner. So if you want to find love in relationships, the first step is to cultivate that in yourself. Examine your self-worth and care routines, and note how that translates to your interactions with others. Outer results reflect inner decisions. The way we see ourselves is often how we treat our partners.

3. Your Baggage:

Have you noticed negative patterns in your relationships? Does pain from your past make it harder to trust? Fear is love’s greatest obstacle; so in terms of baggage, handle with care.

The first “thing” that pops into your head can often improve with practice: journaling, talking it out, reading self-help books and/or spiritual work. But when it comes to deeper wounds, a therapist, spiritual leader or mentor can and should be asked for help. Taking honest inventory of our own baggage is a crucial part of de-cluttering our love lives.

I Took a Relationship Hiatus for 18 Months

What abstaining from romantic love taught me about myself.

A while ago, I ended an unhealthy relationship and decided to give dating a wide berth for the foreseeable future. That turned out to be 18 months. I made the decision not out of bitterness or because I didn’t want to love again, and not even because my heart had received a sucker punch. It definitely had (multiple times).

But I realized that after my last relationship, I didn’t recognize myself. I felt so far removed from the person I wanted to be. I knew I needed to get to know myself, not a man.

Women spend so much time learning who we’re supposed to be that we forget to pay attention to who we actually are. The fear of being alone drives us towards men with whom we are ultimately (and sometimes glaringly) incompatible.

And one day it occurred to me that I was unfit to be anyone’s partner until I could stand to be myself.

Step 1: Face down my own emotions

I took some time to feel what I hadn’t let myself feel: all of the pain, abandonment, insecurity, etc. that had accumulated throughout my adult life. It socked me in the jaw. But I faced it down and began dealing with it. At first, I was terrified. I felt the suffocating loneliness of dating withdrawals. I panicked when, with no one else around, I stood face to face with my own demons.

But here’s the incredible thing: it didn’t last forever. After a few months, I learned new, healthier ways to deal with loneliness. The negative voices gradually softened. Like exercising a new muscle, my confidence and sense of self-worth strengthened.

Step 2: Date myself

It started with simply learning to be with myself. I took long walks and I thought. I took time to do exactly what I wanted to do. I wrote a novel. I read my favorite authors and watched my favorite films. I realized that while I love company, I don’t necessarily need it to be happy. Everything I need is already contained within me. Self-soothing is a wonderful skill we somehow acquire as babies and promptly forget once we reach adulthood. I’m proud to say I rediscovered it.

Step 3: Rekindle platonic love

Then I focused on my platonic relationships. I received so much more love than I could ever have anticipated. My friend recently told me I’m much easier to be around now than I was a year and a half ago. Taking this time to clear my own head opened up myriad possibilities — I cultivated friendships and relationships with family that I had neglected, began a new career path that I had dreamed of but never had the courage to pursue, and above all, in committing my love to those dear to me, I learned how to love myself.

Step 4: Set new #relationshipgoals

Affirming my choice not to date was liberating. I know now that if and when I do enter into a new relationship, I will do so as a more capable and compassionate partner. I also learned that I’m fine being alone. I faced my demons and came out alive.

There were times when I miss being kissed. I miss holding a man’s hand or the back-and-forth repartee that accompanies a first date. But I also recognize that it’s worth waiting for. I refuse to accept anything less than exactly what I want.

If it’s not out there, so be it. I’ll be ok. I have friends and family who love and support me. I have a new career that constantly challenges and rewards me. I’m enough.

Loved this? Discover more stories about finding yourself while single on Love TV.

2019: The Year You Manifest Your Love Life Into Existence

Don’t leave everything up to fate.

How was your love life in 2018? Mine was, for the most part, quiet. Really quiet. Save for an unexpected vacation fling, I had a lot of solo time. I don’t lament over this – there were a lot of moving parts in my life: management changes at my day job, living alone for the first time, navigating mental health challenges….much of it felt like work I needed to do on my own. With the new year here, I think about the one thing I never plan for – my love life.

The start of the year is a natural time to consider wins and losses from the previous year. So I think about the things that went well for me in 2018:

I got out of my comfort zone. Casual sex interests me a lot less than it used to, so I don’t seek out hookups anymore. When I went to visit an east coast friend over the summer, I met someone. We hit it off really well, exchanged numbers, and saw each other one last time before I went home. I had a spectacular night and morning.. I causally follow my fling on Instagram, but it’s not that serious. And that’s okay. Because now, I’m thinking about all the things that would happen if I made more of an effort to do stuff I typically wouldn’t. I would certainly meet more people, or at least have some good stories.

I’ve been on a self-imposed app hiatus. I still prefer to encounter people IRL, but that doesn’t happen too often. So what’s the harm in getting back on Tinder (gulp) and scheduling a date? I’m not going on there to hook up, which may present some added challenges, but better than my go-to Friday night standard (i.e., wine and celebrity gossip channels. Yes, I’m that boring).

I wouldn’t say that my romantic life was a failure in 2018, simply because I didn’t set any goals.

Life overwhelmed me. If not for my summer fling, 2018 would have been a totally dateless and celibate year – not always a bad thing, mind you. But I know that’s not what I want for 2019. I know I want meet new guys – on dinner dates, dive bar hangouts, movie outings, and other low-key commitments. I don’t believe in setting deadlines on when to find the love of my life. But I do believe in timing. I do believe that things happen when they are meant to happen. I also believe that life only gives you as much as you put in, and I put very little towards my love life in 2018.

So, if you’re like me, thinking about ways to shake up your love life in 2019, I have some ideas:

new year

Figure out your long-term dating goals.

Just because you’ve been single for a while doesn’t mean you don’t want to get married someday. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to build a family with someone. As a woman who’s used to being single, I get stuck in the mindset of “I may be single forever. And that is ok.”

Is it really okay for me? Living alone is great right now, but I don’t want to live alone forever. Buried in layers of practicality lies a soft romantic inside of me. Get real with your inner romantic and get real with your hopes and dreams. Sometimes just writing out the love you want for yourself will make it feel more real.

After that, you can set clear goals for yourself next. They don’t have to be time-sensitive, like “find a boyfriend by June.” Good luck with that. But they can be smaller, more attainable things. Like go on a date a month. Or sign up for a foreign language class. Or fit more sessions at the yoga studio into your calendar. These are all measurable things, and things that will get you to meet more people.

All goals don’t have to involve meeting people. Look inwards too. If you have some personal baggage that’s been holding you back, work on that. Find a therapist online or in-person. Reflect on past relationships and the mistakes you won’t make again. Therapy has forced me to be honest about the love that I want for myself, but don’t feel like I deserve (ouch). Working on personal hang ups will only make you a better person – and romantic partner — in the long run.

The universe listens to us when we’re proactive about what we want. Love is all around us. We just have to prioritize it. One of my favorite self-love affirmations is “I Choose Love.” Remember that in 2019. Choose love more often.

21 Day Challenge to Improve Your Love Life

It’s Spring! Relationship A.I. is launching a 21 Day Challenge to Improve Your Love Life 1 interaction at a time.

Every Day of the 21 Days we will send you 1 step to take to Improve either Your Dating Life or Existing Relationship, for Free.

Before We Begin:

Answer this Question Are You Single or In a Relationship?
SINGLE
IN A RELATIONSHIP

 

This will allow us to provide the right tips for you during the 21 Day Challenge.

Download Relationship A.I. tracker app.app store download

 

To a Vibrant and Empowering Love Life in 2020!

Karinna Karsten
www.relationship-ai.com
www.lovetv.co