Find out what happened when these three couples said yes to sex every night

It’s not uncommon for a couple to have mismatched libidos. But what would happen if you and your partner just said “yes” to sex every night? These three couples tried just that for four weeks.

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How to Talk to Your Partner about Sex

January is the Month to Have More Open Conversations About Sex, so how do you start that conversation with your partner? Talking is a key to having great sex and improving your love life, but it can be difficult when you’ve never opened up about it before. You need not worry though, these five helpful tips will help both you and your partner get everything you want out of the bedroom and give you a great, sexy start to 2015!

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5 Different Stages of Falling in Love

According to new research, there are 5 different stages of falling in love. It all starts with Butterflies, the first step towards Stability. Read more about the stages and find out where you are in your relationship!

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5 Ways to Get the Sexy Back in Your Marriage

There’s a commonly held belief that sex in marriage is boring and predictable, but the truth is, it can be as exciting as you want it to be! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching try these 5 tips for spicing up your normal routine and adding a little adventure in the bedroom!

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6 Ways to Seduce Your Spouse on Valentine’s Day

If you’re worried this year’s Valentine’s Day will just be a repeat of every other year with your spouse, then we have a list for you. There’s no reason the two of you can’t make the most of the day and spice things up to celebrate your love. These 6 tips will help you stay curious and give you and your partner a whole new perspective on Valentine’s Day!

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13 Reasons to Have More Sex

There’s a million different reasons to have sex, but did you know there are also several health benefits from it? Here are 13 reasons to have sex…for your health!

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How Much Sex Are We Really Having?

Are we honest about sex? According to this research, not always! Find out the difference between what we say about our sexual habits and what data says is the the truth.

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10 Surprising Things You Never Knew About Infidelity

Why do cheaters cheat? New research has uncovered some truths about infidelity that could surprise you. Did your partner cheat on you because her mother was a cheater? Is there really a most popular day to cheat? Read on to find the answers:

  1. You can be genetically predisposed to infidelity

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If you’re the cheating kind, you may have your genes to blame: Researchers from Binghamton University found that about half of all people with the DRD4 gene — also known as the “thrill-seeking” gene — were more prone to promiscuity and unfaithfulness.

  1. Women think men with deep voices are more likely to cheat.

Bad news for men who sound anything like Barry White. A study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences showed that women perceive men with deep voices as being more likely to cheat. Researchers asked women to listen to men’s voices and determine which guys were prone to cheating. Researchers then asked which men women were most attracted to for long- and short-term flings. The verdict? Men with deep voices were seen as being more suitable for a fling and more likely to stray.

  1. Democrats are more tolerant of cheating than Republicans.

The way you react to being cheated on might be a result of your political beliefs. In a YouGov poll commissioned by The Huffington Post, 14 percent of Democrats versus 10 percent of Republicans surveyed said they would definitely give their partner a second chance if they discovered an affair.

  1. An affair may increase the risk of a broken penis.

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Affairs don’t just break hearts, they might also break penises. Dr. Andrew Kramer, a urologist and assistant professor of surgery at the University of Maryland Medical Center, studied 16 cases of penile fracture between 2007 and 2011 that required surgery. Half of those men admitted to fracturing their member during an extramarital affair. “I think the time you don’t see a lot of men fracturing their penises is in the bedroom with his wife that he’s been married to for a number of years,”Kramer explained to the Huffington Post

  1. Cheaters find their spouses more attractive than their affair partners.

When it comes to cheating, it’s not all about looks. Extra-marital dating site Victoria Milan polled over 4,000 of their members and found that most cheaters considered their significant others to be more attractive than their affair partners.

  1. Men who cheat are more likely to have heart attacks than non-cheaters.

And in another blow to cheating men everywhere, a study out of the University of Florence suggested that “sudden coital death” is more common when a man is getting it on with his mistress in an unfamiliar setting than when he’s having sex with his spouse at home.

  1. Women are more likely to cheat if their mothers were cheaters.

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A survey by Illicit Encounters — an extra-marital dating site based in Britain — polled 2,000 members and found that 73 percent of women who admitted to having an affair had mothers who cheated as well. Apparently, the unfaithful apple doesn’t fall far from the unfaithful tree.

  1. Cheaters love taking their dates to Morton’s The Steakhouse.

Chain restaurants and steak houses came out on top when extramarital dating site Ashley Madison asked roughly 43,000 of their users where they take their dates to dinner. Morton’s The Steakhouse was the most popular choice. The Cheesecake Factory and Ruth’s Chris made the list, too.

  1. Most millennials consider flirting online to be a form of infidelity.

Be careful with those heart-eye and winky face emojis if you’re in a relationship. The website Fusion recently asked 1,000 18- to 34-year-olds if they thought “online flirtations or relationships” counted as cheating, and 82 percent said yes.

  1. Wednesday is the most popular day for people to cheat.

Abstract of an Analogue Alarm Clock Ringing its Bells Early in the Morning

They don’t call it “hump day” for nothing: Wednesday, between 5 and 7 p.m, is the most popular day and time for people to cheat, according to dating site Ashley Madison.

P*rn vs. Real Sex: Explained with Food

If you’ve ever watched porn, and if you’ve ever had sex, you know that the two are very different. With all the porn out there on the Internet, it’s no wonder people are having more unrealistic expectations when it come to the bedroom. What’s most important to remember is that while porn is entertaining, it’s not a fair measuring stick for your sexual experiences. But what are the differences, specifically? Whet your appetite and watch the video!

24 Diagrams To Help You Have Better Sex

Has your sex routine gotten a little stale? Maybe it’s time you and your partner brought a few new positions into the bedroom! These 24 diagrams will help get you out of your rut and into a whole new realm of pleasure!

1. For all the kisses.

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glitterandnightmares.tumblr.com

2. For a basic ~pleasure~ blueprint.

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Men’s Health / Via menshealth.com

These charts don’t apply to everyone, of course, but they’re interesting to look at nonetheless! See more about this at Do You Know Her Pleasure Points? via Men’s Health.

3. For when you need to love yourself first.

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4. For understanding consent.

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Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW / Via vitaminw.co

In case there’s any confusion at all. To learn more, read What Consent Looks Like atVitaminW.

Infographic by Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW.

5. For sleeping with bae (and actually sleeping).

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Allison Pottasch for Swimmingly / Via swimmingly.com

Cute, right? Read more about the best and worst sleep positions for couples atSwimmingly.

6. For using a condom the right way.

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Erika Moen / Via ohjoysextoy.com

Using condoms during sex is called the “barrier method” of protection. When used correctly, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy (but when used incorrectly, they’re only 82% effective). Condoms can also be a good way to reduce your risk of contracting or spreading STIs. They don’t protect you against all STIs (some can be spread from skin-to-skin contact, for instance), but it’s a good place to start.

Worth noting: The best thing you can do for yourself in terms of protection against STIs: Get tested, know your status, and get treatment for any STIs that you do have. Not all are curable, but all can be treated to one degree or another. See more information about STI testing and treatment here.

Infographic via Erika Moen of OhJoySexToy.

7. For when condoms alone might not cut it.

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John Warren Hanawalt / Via johnheartsdesign.com

Condoms aren’t the only barrier method in town. Depending on the sex act or the partner, you might benefit more from one of these other options.

Infographic by John Warren Hanawalt for Fenway Health.

8. For a gentle reminder to know your status and protect yourself in multiple ways.

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Guttmacher Institute / Via guttmacher.org

Again, condoms alone won’t keep you safe and protected — it’s also vital to know your STI status, and get treated for any STIs that you do have (many of which don’t have obvious symptoms). Learn more here.

9. For a sexy soundtrack.

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Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

Women’s Health Facebook followers shared their favorite sex songs (shown above). Any you’d add?

10. For feeling comfortable calling the shots.

This is so, so important. Your sex life is your own, and you call the shots. Viasexedquestions.tumblr.com and sexpositiveblog.com.

11. For knowing just where you stand.

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David McCandless / Via informationisbeautiful.net

Hey, labels aren’t the worst thing ever, and monogamy isn’t necessarily for everyone. Isn’t it better to be honest and up-front about it?

Infographic via David McCandless of Information Is Beautiful, author of Knowledge Is Beautiful.

12. For getting in the mood.

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Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

Find out what makes these foods so ~sexy~ at 7 Foods That Boost Your Libido, viaWomen’s Health.

13. For making your room a bit more hospitable to overnight guests.

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Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com

You don’t need ceiling mirrors or stripper poles to turn your bedroom into a verifiable sex den. Instead, you should make your bed as inviting as possible, according to Men’s Health. These 7 Sex Upgrades For Your Bed are a good place to start.

14. For getting it on during pregnancy.

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Illustrations by Patrick George for Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

For tips about how to do each of these moves, plus four more pregnancy sex positions, read Have Hot Pregnancy Sex: The Best Positions For Every Trimester, viaWomen’s Health.

15. For exploring your kinky side.

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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

OK, so this isn’t a chart, but it is a great primer on all things BDSM (as in: all the things that you didn’t learn from reading or watching Fifty Shades of Grey). Check it out, and ready the handcuffs!

16. For keeping your penis safe and sound.

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Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com

Thanks, Men’s Health! Read The 10 Worst Things That Can Happen To Your Penis for more on this topic.

17. For when you see a bangin’ booty and kinda wanna shout about it.

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Shea Strauss for Playboy / Via playboy.com

Glad we cleared THAT up. Flowchart by Shea Strauss for Playboy.

18. For when you want a little more playfulness in your relationship.

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Alice Mongkongllite for BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

For more details on this, check out The Couples Bucket List You’ll Actually Want To Do.

19. For, ahem, improving your flexibility and opening those hips.

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World Lifestyle / Via worldlifestyle.com

Speaking of fitness for better sex… See 10 Ways Exercise Makes Your Sex Life Better (According to Science).

20. For when you might wanna give yourself a hand.

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JimmyJane / Via visual.ly

Masturbation can be a totally normal part of your sex life, no matter your gender, and regardless of whether you have a partner or not.

21. For choosing the best birth control for you.

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Greatist / Via greatist.com

Via Greatist. WORTH NOTING: Per the infographic, all the costs listed are before health insurance. Under the Affordable Care Act, anyone with insurance can now get many types of birth control for free, without a copay. More on that here.

22. For where NOT to store your condoms (lest they break!).

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23. For if the condom breaks anyway.

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Planned Parenthood / Via plannedparenthood.tumblr.com

From Planned Parenthood’s Tumblr post: “Note: If you’re a trans guy who takes hormones, you should talk with your doctor and see what they recommend when it comes to taking emergency contraception. Unfortunately, right now there isn’t enough research that tells us how hormonal EC will affect you, so your best choice may be the non-hormonal ParaGard IUD.

24. For after sex is over, and you’re eyeballing that selfie stick.

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Tom Phillips / Via buzzfeed.com

Just say no.

 

Read the original article here.

What Your Orgasm Reveals About Your Partner

Why are some orgasms better than others, even when there’s no obvious reason for a difference in quality? A new study has proposed an explanation: A woman’s orgasm helps her determine how good a partner the other person will be.

In other words, the stronger the orgasm, the more eligible the bachelor.

By surveying heterosexual female college students in committed relationships (and it’s worth noting that only heterosexual relationships were examined), researchers at the University of Albany looked at whether orgasm intensity, frequency, and sexual satisfaction are determined by a woman’s choice of mate.

The researchers found that the more frequently the women orgasmed, the more intense the orgasms were. What’s more, the “ideal” mate — someone who causes plentiful, and therefore powerful, female orgasms — is funny, highly attractive (with broad shoulders, specifically), self-confident, and has a high-earning family. Yes, you read that correctly: Women have stronger orgasms if their partner is rich.

The researchers said that “sense of humour not only predicted [a man’s] self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners.”

Now, this doesn’t mean you should start pining away for a broad-shouldered heir with a rapier wit, but the study does remind us that there’s more to sex than physical performance. Or maybe it’s a message to all the men out there in committed, heterosexual relationships: If you’re trying to please your significant other in bed, consider focusing less on technique and more on your joke delivery.

17 Sex Tips For Couples in Long Term Relationships

Are you and your partner stuck in a rut? Not having enough sex? Need a little more excitement? Try these 17 tips to re-energize your sex life!

1. Have Morning Sex At Least Once A Week

It has actually been scientifically proven that morning sex is great for you. Between being less self-conscious and the fact that your partner is already right there, it’s a great way to start the day. I love starting my day with an orgasm and watching my partner grin all morning for the same reason.

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Surprise Your Partner

Even those people who are adamant about not liking surprises enjoy surprises when it comes to sex.

I love to welcome my partner home with a sex-related surprise. Whether I tell him not to say a word as I pull his clothes from his body, or greet him with nothing but a sly grin, it’s fun for both of us. The key here is not to do it too often. Surprises are meant for special occasions.

3. Take An Evening To Share Your Ultimate Fantasies

Once you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’ve tackled the awkward stuff and can truly open up — especially when it comes to sharing your fantasies. My partner and I are really open about what turns us on and accepting of what the other wants. We try to fulfill these desires or, at the very least, find a common ground. We’ve also learned that some fantasies can’t be fulfilled, and that that’s OK, too.

Set a specific night aside to discuss your fantasies. Chances are, even if you don’t think you have any, you’ll discover something after talking for awhile.

4. Flirt Like You Mean It

Too many people think flirting is what you do to lure the object of your affection into your clutches — but it’s more than that. Flirting is playful and fun, so throwing your partner a wink is a friendly reminder that you’re still hot for them, even when you’re not in the bedroom. I think I’ve perfected my flirting game since I’ve been in my long-term relationship, which is great for when we break up. I kid!

5. Make A Plan to Try One New Sex Position a Month

The Kama Sutra exists for a reason — and it’s not to give Cosmo more fodder for impossible sex positions that “your man will love!” Although it does include 64 sex acts, it’s also a guide on all things amorous, including reaching ultimate intimacy during these positions. Sure, you won’t be able to master them all, (and besides, who really wants to stand on their head during sex), but trying some out, especially these ones, can be fun.

6. Get To Third Base Someplace Public-ish

The world is your oyster! (Hee hee.) There are so many places where you can have sexy times with your partner, so keeping it just in the bedroom isn’t an option. Spice it up! I’m not suggesting you take to a public bench for all to see, but with discretion and creativity, you can make it happen in more places than you know.

7. Meet Each Other For The First Time — Again

While personally, I think the whole school girl role-playing thing is played out, what I do love is meeting my partner at a bar and pretending we’re strangers. We actually like to play this game when we’re on a plane, too. We play ourselves, only we pretend we don’t know each other yet. There’s nothing better than meeting each other for the first time all over again, and remembering why you fell for them in the first place.

8. Make Out. Often.

Making out is so underestimated. Think about it this way: You’re probably with your partner now because it all started with a kiss, so why would you let making out go now? Don’t only think of making out as something that has to lead to sex — try appreciating it on its own, and seeing where that leads.

I could kiss my partner for hours, if only we both had the time. Damn these full time jobs! I guess we’ll have to wait for retirement to get that happening.

9. Take Advantage Of Technology

If only I had a penny for every time I sent my partner a sext, I’d be a very, very wealthy woman. Sexting, if you haven’t done it yet, is, in one word, fantastic. It’s basically the technological version of foreplay, and a perfect way to get both you and your partner in the mood. It’s also a great way to liven up your oh-so-long and exhausting work day. Think of it this way: at least you know you can trust them.

10. Watch Porn Together

Contrary to decades-old misinformation, women are watching porn just as much as men, and they’re loving it, too. Although we may have different things that turn us on than men do, you can, if you look around, find something that you both enjoy. If visual porn isn’t your thing, then written erotica (my personal favorite), is something to definitely give a try.

11. Tease Each Other

Teasing is awesome. Whether you do it with facial expressions or in a more hands-on way, it gives fuel to the sexual fire. My teasing of my partner is relentless. I just can’t help myself, then when I see that he’s getting all hot and bothered about it, I just turn it up a few notches.

12. End Every Argument With Make-Up Sex

Sometimes I think I subconsciously deliberately provoke my partner just so we can have make-up sex. Because even when it’s a legitimate argument, like who ate the last slice of pizza, we always make sure to end it in a romp. Hey, if you’re going to have a disagreement with your partner, you might as well conclude it with a bang.

13. Play ‘Everything But’

I love this game! As much as I love sex, the game of doing everything but intercourse is a great way to explore other avenues in getting each other off. You may also end up surprising each other, and appreciating intercourse more.

14. Communicate What Feels Good (And What Needs Work)

The most important part of having good sex is communication. If your partner goes down on you and clearly has know idea what they’re doing, it’s your job to give direction. You absolutely have to share what feels good and what doesn’t if you want to get the most out of your sex life. As our sexual health columnist Emma Kaywin likes to say, ”communication is the best lubrication.”

15. Add Sex Toys To The Mix

I write about sex. A lot. Because of this, I’m constantly getting new and exciting toys to try out. Sometimes they fall flat, because seriously, what am I supposed to do with terrifying mask from The Town? But a lot of them make for some experimental fun. It’s OK to bring in a little outside help in the form of toys — they really do add to the sexual experience.

16. Embrace The Magic Of Foreplay

Foreplay is amazing! And the longer you can extend it, the better. While a quickie is fun sometimes, devoting lots and lots of time to the build up to the big finale is really hot. I’ve always found that the longer the foreplay, the better the actual sex. It makes for one hell of an explosive orgasm.

17. Put Your Pride On The Line

I have, on more than a few occasions, tried to do a striptease — granted, it usually ends up being a disaster. I’ve yet to take off my underwear with the grace and seduction of a pro, but at least I try. It’s hard for me to put myself out there, but even as I stumble in my attempts to be sexy, my partner is still into it.

Even more importantly, it’s exciting for me to push myself outside my comfort zone. I’m making an effort, and that’s what being in a relationship is all about.


 

Curated by Michael

Original Article

How to Feel True Intimacy When Making Love

There is a difference between sex and intimacy, and sometimes in a relationship, those two things can get separated. Once you reclaim that intimacy, you can find your relationship stronger than ever.

What is intimacy to you?

Chances are you picture hugs, and long talks staring deeply into each other’s eyes, and holding hands, and even enjoying the silence together. We love feeling totally emotionally connected to another human being–especially our husbands.

Yet most husbands’ definition of intimacy would likely involve far less clothing and far more action. To them, intimacy tends to be sexual. When we open ourselves up sexually, they feel invigorated, accepted, and needed.

Because we both view intimacy differently, though, it’s easy to withdraw when we don’t feel like our needs are being met. When he doesn’t listen to our hearts or show affection, we can easily feel hurt and unappreciated. That makes  us clam up. Then he starts feeling unloved and unappreciated because we aren’t making love, and he withdraws.

Have you ever been part of that domino effect, where everything just starts collapsing?

It’s exhausting.

That was me for the first few years of our marriage. I felt like the more he wanted sex, the less he must love me, because it meant that he loved me for what I could do for him, not just for who I was. His love felt conditional. But he felt the same thing about me!

So there we both were, both feeling like we were being loving, yet both feeling very unloved.

There’s a neat thing about the domino effect, though. When those dominoes start dropping, you can stop the disaster by getting ahead of it. Just do something differently!

With Christmas coming, many of us are eagerly looking for the perfect Christmas gift for our husbands, so that they’ll feel cherished and loved and respected. Perhaps the best gift we can give him is to make an attitude change ourselves, and decide that this year, we’re going to stop that domino effect. We’re going to start figuring out how to look forward to sex–and how to feel true intimacy when we do make love, too.

  1. Get Some Sleep

Seriously. Sleep is a real marriage issue. One of the main reasons that women don’t want to have sex, and have their libidos plummet, is that we’re just too tired. Getting rid of things off of your plate, going to bed at a decent hour, and carving out time for yourself during the day isn’t selfish at all. It’s putting a priority on your marriage!

Added Benefit: Sex helps you sleep better! You fall asleep faster, and you sleep more deeply. So now when I’m super tired, I don’t tell my husband “no”. I say, “come put me to sleep, baby!”

  1. Initiate More

Your husband doesn’t want to be placated. He wants to be wanted. Saying “yes” to him while you lie there and don’t move very much isn’t going to make him feel ten feet tall; he’ll feel like a heel. If you are the one who starts, though, you show him that you do want this.

Added Benefit: If you initiate, you tend to be more active, which has the added advantage that you do things that feel good to you. Instead of him setting the stage, you can set the stage and steer things into a direction that feels great to you!

  1. Be Mentally Present!

Have you ever been making love to your husband when the thought suddenly occurs to you, “is there milk in the fridge for breakfast?” As soon as the thought’s in there, you start adding to it. “What else do I have to pick up at the grocery store tomorrow?” And before you know it your mind is gone.

We women are multi-taskers, but this is one area where that’s a very bad idea. If your head isn’t in the game, your body won’t follow. So when you are making love, make it a practice, even if it’s difficult, of not letting your mind go anywhere else. He’ll likely notice the difference immediately, since that will likely make you more active all at once.

Added Benefit: When we concentrate on what’s going on, we also feel more intimate ourselves, and we feel more loved, because it becomes more emotional and less clinical.

  1. Make Great Sex Your Research Project of 2014

Finally, maybe one of the reasons it’s hard for you to jump on the bandwagon is because making love has never felt that stupendous. The earth has never moved and you start to wonder what all the fuss is about.

That’s normal. When I wrote The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I found out that it took on average about sixteen years of marriage for things to begin to work like clockwork. It isn’t automatic. And that’s perfectly okay.

As you get better at communicating, as you trust more, as you become more vulnerable, sex will improve. But sometimes you also need a little bit of help! Get a book that can help you learn how to make your body feel good. Find a book to work through together (like my 31 Days to Great Sex). Even put the book in his stocking, with a letter, saying that you want 2014 to be the year that you both really connect.

Added Benefit: You’ll start to feel those fireworks, too! And the more your body starts to respond, the easier it gets to respond, so that it snowballs.

The best gift you can give your husband is to start valuing the things that he values, and that includes the way that he sees love. And as you do this, you’ll learn a special secret: sex is actually pretty great, and it isn’t just for him! So this Christmas, give him all of yourself. You may just find that you enjoy the present just as much.


Curated by Michael

Original Article

The Best Test for Knowing You’re With the Right Person

If you want to know if you’re really with the right person, the person you could actually partner with forever more, the one who could really love and trust and respect and admire and grow with you — not the one who does — but the one who could, I have a real test for you. The Pussy Test.

You see those other tests all the time, those tests and lists about how to know if you’re with the right person. She makes you laugh. He’s seen you at your worst. She loves a night in as much as a night on the town. You fight and make up.

I cheat on those tests. Always have. Yeah, she’s funny sometimes. Sure, he’s seen me with a cold. Yeah, we spend equal nights on the couch and on the dance floor. Sure, we’ve said some things with voices raised and later exchanged apologies, I say to myself, if I want it to be the right person, and the converse if I don’t.

It’s like those Cosmo quizzes. You know which responses will result in which score or category or whatever end game is at play. “Are you geeky sexy, classic sexy or closet sexy?” Question one — Would you prefer to: (a) play video games in your underwear; (b) wear a slinky dress and go out for a night on the town; or (c) cook a nice dinner at home and hopes he asks if he can stay the night.

Duh.

This test is different. I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi or otherwise — if you have a pussy, this test will work.

One night in bed, lay back on a whole mess of pillows in as comfy a position as possible with some lovely lighting at play. Nothing too bright, nothing too dim. You can wear a top, if you like, but nothing from the waist down. And ask your partner to sit between your legs. Ask her or him to sit comfortably between your legs and explore your pussy.

I mean really look and touch you sweetly and slowly and take her or his time. Ask her or him to take a look around, spread your pussy open, slip her or his finger up and down and around. Not in just yet. Have her or him massage your outer lips and pull back the hood of your clit and admire you.

Tell her or him what feels good. Invite her or him to ask you about your pussy, and what feels good. What is what. And where your on spots or spaces or edges are. When you’re ready, invite your partner to explore inside your pussy, too. Take your time. Give her or him the time and space and comfort and opportunity to feel the different textures and layers and depths. Talk about what you’re both experiencing.

What’s surprising or exciting. What feels good. Or doesn’t. When she or he hits a spot that you recognize as your G-Zone or your A-Zone, speak up. Or if you find that neither of you know what you’ve stumbled upon, just explore and enjoy and save the research and questions for later.

End your session with orgasm or not. Finish exploring when you feel seen, and she or he is filled with the requisite wonder.

I mean it.

You can shake your head or laugh or call it hippy dippy or whatever you like. But a woman’s pussy is a wondrous thing with the most amazing parts and abilities, and it is simply not given its due in our culture. We are over-sexualized in theory, and under-experienced in practice. It’s time to get in there.

And this isn’t just a test for your partner. It’s for you too, because if you don’t feel comfortable asking the person you’re with to do that, you have to question your relationship with your body and your sexuality. If that relationship is in question, if you’re not whole in that way, how can you be expecting to find a relationship with another human that’s whole?

This test is about pulling back the layers, literally and figuratively.

In lesbian sex, in general, it’s tougher to ignore the pussy. A number of the positions and acts require full confrontation, as it were. But PIV (penis in vagina) intercourse can allow the pussy — and more sadly, the clit — to be universally ignored. He can slide in and back out again without ever giving any real consideration to just what exactly he is slipping in and out of. Certainly, the same can happen between two women. But the logistics alone make that less likely.

This test is about real intimacy and real pleasure and real connection between two people.

This test won’t tell you if you’ve found the one. But, neither will those other tests or lists. One thing is for sure though, this one will certainly tell you if she or he is even a candidate.


Curated by Michael

Original Article