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I Haven’t Lost My Virginity

Do I regret it? No.

My only regret is having viewed my virginity as the essence of my worth, and allowing someone else to determine my value. I let another person define me, and no one deserves that power. I spent years blaming the guy for hurting my feelings, however in the end, I was the one hurting myself.

Sex is supposed to be vulnerable. Sometimes, it’s an amazing experience. Other times, it’s a nightmare. Intimacy is personal, and exploration is important. But sex does not define us.

It’s been a long time since that first time. Instead of looking back with regret, I’m making the choice to honor that younger version of me. My innocence is still intact. I know it is, because I still feel pain. Life still surprises me, and I have not lost my will to love.

So what have I lost, really? Nothing. I’ve gained a few things, though.   Love. Loss. Self-awareness. Mistakes. Adventures. These experiences, both positive and negative, have helped to shape the sexual being that I am. I’m still the same person that I was before sex. I just know more, now.

We all have a story, and the way it starts (and ends) is up to us.

Nobody takes their first steps without falling a few times. Do you regret walking? Probably not. So I challenge you to celebrate your virginity, instead of mourning its loss. I urge you to see sex for what it is – a physical expression of mutual attraction, instead of what it isn’t. No matter how long it’s been since that first time, or if sex hasn’t happened yet for you – please know that you are valuable. Nothing (and no one) can change that.

I did not “lose” my virginity. I became sexually active. End of story.